One afternoon, I found myself dancing about the house to “Boogie Down” (as sung by Al Jarreau). I had such joy and freedom in the dance. I was imagining myself opening up a talk by doing just that – dancing to that little song for a few minutes and then sharing about how I found my dance again. Stay tuned - that may happen!
For so many years I allowed something that I love to do be suppressed. I pushed my love of dance deep down inside of me because I was told that I had no rhythm - that dancing wasn’t my thing. I was even shamed and told that dancing is dirty, so I shouldn’t do it. I allowed voices in my head and words that were planted in my childhood to steal that joy from me.
Over the years, I simply resolved that indeed, dancing wasn’t for me. In my head I reasoned that it was childish and a waste of time, but my heart longed to let the little girl in me rejoice through dancing. My head won and I pushed it all aside.
Until a few years ago. I had an experience where I learned that I am invigorated and exhilarated by dancing. Whether it’s exercise or worship or sheer joy, dancing energizes me.
I couldn’t or wouldn’t tell anyone to follow me – but why should I? Our dance should come from a deep place inside us – a place between us and our Creator. An expression of who He made us to be.
Perhaps dancing isn’t your thing. Perhaps it’s something else creative. Do it. Don’t let any shaming voice in your head stop you. Do it.
It’s not easy. It wasn’t easy for me to dance, even with only me in the room! I still sometimes fight through shame, embarrassment, criticism – you name it, but it is so worth it.
It came to a culminating head for me when someone introduced me to Refit. It was a huge step on my part. Most days I cried during and after going to the class… but not because people were making fun of me or because I didn’t really FEEL like a dancer. I cried because for the first time in many years I felt like a little, innocent girl. I cried because I felt a release and a freedom in my spirit that I had kept repressed for so long. I cried because in that particular group, I was building lasting friendships with people who encouraged and prayed for me.
There was one particular guest leader who called me out one night when our regular leader wasn’t there. I wasn’t getting the step right and I’m sure I was throwing off the others. That night I had to choke back my hot tears and embarrassment, even though she had the best of intentions. She was only trying to teach me how to do the moves, but there it was, trying to come up again. Shame, embarrassment and criticism from that voice in my head telling me I wasn’t good enough. Hot tears spilled out - I couldn’t stop them. I fought the urge to run out but I stayed to the end.
Afterward, my sister, who attended class with me, talked me out of quitting in that moment, but I still cried all the way home. I had a choice to make. Would I allow my rediscovered love of dance be squelched by old feelings?
A step back caused me to have new perspective. A talk with my Father helped me to not be bitter about being called out. A swallow of pride helped me to walk back through that door and dance. I wasn’t perfect. I wasn’t a leader at it. I wasn’t the best at it. In fact, I may have even been the worst in the room – but I danced.
And I’m still dancing. That class closed down and I don’t get travel crosstown to go to another, but I dance at home alone or sometimes with my husband. I dance at church. Sometimes I dance in the grocery when I hear a song I love. Yes, I am that person - I can’t help myself.
If I would have let the shame that was planted stay with me, I would have missed one of the highlights of my life! My Son and the Sweetness got married several years ago and I got to dance with him at the reception. We planned it all out, even choreographed it with the help of my sister - it was eight minutes long and loads of fun - and we did it!
Your Creator made you uniquely you. What creative outlet has He planted in you that you’ve been holding back? Find a way to let it out!
If you see someone dancing down the grocery aisle to “Footloose” it’s probably me. No judging! Just know I’m embracing my inner-child, rejoicing that I can move and finding some energy, all at the same time.
Better yet, why don’t you join me?
BOOGIE DOWN
Songwriters: Al Jarreau / Michael Omartian
I can be what I want to
And all I need is to
Get my boogie down
I can be what I want to
You know all I need is to
Get my boogie down
You can be what I want to
And all I need is to
Get my boogie down
I got my certain and my sure 'nough on
And I'm puttin' on my really for real
You face that curtain with your best stuff on
You are the winner and you're gonna feel
You can be what you want to
And all you need is to
Get your boogie down
I can be what I want to
And all I need is to
Get my boogie down
I got my certain and my sure 'nough on
And I'm puttin' on my really for real
You face that curtain with your best stuff on
You are the winner and you're gonna feel
You can be what you want to
And all you need is to
Get your boogie down
You can be what you want to
And all you need is to
Get your boogie down
Now you go one and two and three
Here's a little step for you and me
Come and strut your stuff but leave enough
For the nearest boogie and truest boogie woogie
I can be what I want to
And all I need is to
Get my boogie down
