These words gripped my heart this morning. I woke up, as I often do, singing a song in my mind. Today it was “Come Again”.*
“I’ll wait, for You to come…”
The verse I woke up singing continues on:
“I’ll wait for you to come. I’ll wait for you to come. ‘Cause when I’m with You, Lord it always leaves me wanting more. Here’s my praise You can dwell within - come again.”
As I moved on into my day, I heard a sweet whisper, “It’s been a while since you’ve actually waited.”
I felt no condemnation, though the whisper was right on.
I’ve been through some personal trauma the last several months. What carried me through this season was knowing that He, the Lord, my Shepherd, was in it with me.
But now that I’m walking out of that space, I realize the pattern that developed during that season wants to take over.
It hasn’t been on purpose, but it was that pattern of existing in the moment. Knowing that He was with me. Cognizant that He understood my present paralysis, yet unable articulate anything within that headspace. Feeling as though I had zero moments to waste or to wait. In crisis, aware of Him, but unable to move.
That pattern wants to keep me tethered.
Yet my heart yearns for Him. My eyes burn with longing for His presence in a purposeful way. My great need for connection with the Lover of my soul seeps through every pore.
As the deer longs for streams of water,
so I long for you, O God.
I thirst for God, the living God.
When can I go and stand before him?
—Psalm 42:1-2
His presence was with me in the hard season. I didn’t wonder about that, not one time. I knew He was there. Because of Jesus, we no longer have to wonder, like the descendants of Korah, who wrote Psalm 42, “When can I go and stand before Him?”
Before Jesus, God lived in the tabernacle. Now we are His tabernacle. He lives in us.
But sometimes we still have to wait. Not the “When are you going to get here, Lord? Why weren’t You there when I needed you? I don’t know if I can make it unless you ‘show up’,” kind of waiting.
But waiting in the sense of putting everything else on hold. Giving Him quality time. Shutting out the rest of the world. Setting my focus on Him. A lingering pursuit.
My heart says of you, “Seek his face!”
Your face, Lord, I will seek.
—Psalm 27:8
Not allowing myself to be, “trapped in the patterns my life has set for me.”**
Perhaps what I woke up singing this morning was less like pressing repeat of a song and more like an invitation.
“I’ll wait for you to come…”
I hear you, Lord. Thank you for inviting me to wait.
-dlc
* “Come Again” by Elevation Worship & Maverick City, Old Church Basement, Elevation Worship Records @2021. Written by Brandon Lake, Chandler Moore, Dante Bowe & Steven Furtick.
** “I Want to Change” by Russ Taff, Walls of Glass, Myrrh Records, ©1983. Written by James Hollihan, Russ Taff & Tori Taff.
